You have no idea how nervous I am.
I’m scared. My next performance comes at the St Mary’s Hall ball on Saturday. The stakes are pretty high.
I mentioned in a previous post that I’d been approached to do a set for the guests that evening. It rocks that people are starting to notice what I do and this is essentially what I’ve been blogging about from the beginning.
I can’t shake off a nagging sense of huge pressure, though. I think it’s a good thing, though. [That’s me convinving myself]
I have a basic idea of what I want to do on the night. Let’s just hope it goes right.
I’m going to be honest with you: The biggest thing that scares me is going down as “that guy who thought he was funny.”
It’s one thing to have a crappy showing at some random comedy club. At least then you can leave the venue and not show face there for a while. People will just forget you and leave you to the dusty archives of their memories.
It’s a completely different game with what I’m trying to do here.
There’s no escaping and laying low until the talk dies down. We’re a small university and we bump into each other pretty much all the time.
I’ve just taken a bit of a breather.
I’m being a little ridiculous, I guess. If I’m going to get into this (comedy) seriously, I’m going to have to chuck myself out there. Comedians are probably the most scrutinised people out there.
Jerry Seinfeld put it perfectly: “No one is more judged in civilised society than a stand-up comedian”
“Every twelve seconds, you’re rated,” he said.
And you know what? It’s true.
I’m no veteran at this, but I completely understand that excruciating grip of pressure you feel from the moment you realise that your jokes aren’t flying. The audience’s stare is painfully piercing at that point. It’s just a horrible descent into the doldrums of a comic’s death.
I do not want to die up there.
This is what the hard yards are made of. I just have to psych myself up in the run-up to hitting that stage.
There are other performances in the pipeline. Another Hall Ball calls. Jan Smuts House and Atherstone House [the largest girls’ res] are having a ball soon and have asked me to come through.
In the meantime, I’m pouring my efforts towards Saturday evening.
Here we go again.
The stakes are so high.